Dear Maya

Hey Mayannaise,

I finally got that tattoo for you, so I can show you the world you won’t get to see.
It’s silly that I know you wouldn’t want me to feel like this, but here I am.

No.

You want to know what’s going well, so check this shit out.
I started drawing more, and the other day, wanted to play the piano.
I still feel the same smothery pain, but it’s thinner. I can see and breathe more.
I can feel more, and I want to turn around and curl right back up in that comfortable hole I’ve been in.

I think, in a strange way, I’ve been trying to die in spirit so you won’t be alone.

I just got a text on my phone, and it’s a quote.
”It is not very often that an opportunity comes knocking.
But when it does, you’d better be bathed and dressed and ready to answer its call.”

I’d argue that opportunity knocks all the time, but it’s not always at the door.
I have to pay attention and answer when it shows up.
Listening harder doesn’t seem to do the trick, I actually have to get better.

I’ll only hear it if I’m ready, so I’m listening.

Love,

Drewski