Day 1, Having Fun

I’m trying to forget myself.

My past feels like a different life, and I’m trying to forget and remember it all at the same time. I do and don’t identify with it, and I remember the ‘breaking point’ was in 8th grade. Now I feel like me, but I feel hollow. My past self doesn’t line up with present me, and dissonance permeates my reality.

It’s uncomfortable to look directly at said discomfort
They say it gets better, and eventually it won’t hurt.

I check my calendar, but can’t find the date.
You aren’t catching up, and I can’t wait.

Here comes work, here it comes.

Ok, work came and is currently ongoing.

I need to make an appointment to lock down a PCP to start ADHD treatment.

I need a lot of things.

Like dessert.

Mmmmm.

I can not smoke during the week, but the weekend arrives and I smoke as if it’s going out of style.

I’ve only failed if I quit trying.

and I’ll never quit trying.